I’ve been swamped at work and at home and hadn’t checked my Kickstarter project statistics. So tonight I did. I am slowly making progress and gaining backers. Too slow for my preference but progresss nonetheless. But back to earlier today, while I was negotiating with our French joint venture legal colleagues today, I had a panic attack.
I was ‘driving’ the documents from my laptop as they appeared on the big screen in the room, trying to help negotiate language changes on a template with my manager, and thinking about possible failure on Kickstarter – all at the same time. I think that puts me squarely in the category of CRAZY!
I requested a bio break and I stilled my panic in the bathroom stall. I asked myself why I was nervous. “I don’t want to fail! I want this book project to be fully funded.” I let that thought linger for a moment, said a prayer asking for peace and went back to the negotiation table.
By the end of the day, I realized that I had been in this place before. Over and over again. I had, put myself out there, taken a big risk or chance, followed a dream or the Holy Spirit and simply didn’t look back. Yes, I’d been here before – numerous times. So, I reminded myself that just like when I stepped out on the track 2 years ago, to try and sprint again, I won when I showed up! How I placed was insignificant to the fact that I had trained and tried. I hadn’t asked for permission or approval. I simply did it.
And so, I followed the same path to my Kickstarter project. I took a big chance putting my story out there, exposing my kryptonite, and putting it all in writing. So regardless of how my book gets published, it will be. Regardless of how I feel, I’ll still be called upon to help people. And as God often reminds me, I had already won, at the moment that I hit the “submit” button.
It feels good to take a chance – especially when you win!
THRIVING IN DENIAL 